It’s a Family in a Blender

 

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.”

Proverbs 3:5-6 NIV

 

There is no better word to describe the blended family than “blended.” When we consider the challenges of this new family unit, it can often feel like you’ve been thrown in a blender—stirred, chopped, sliced, and beaten to a pulp. 

The variety of different opinions, philosophies, and approaches coming together at one time frequently contributes to the confusion and chaos. Some days you will barely be able to hold it together. After all, you and your spouse were brought together by love, but only after navigating the trauma of a divorce or death—and perhaps some healing is yet to come for you or other members of your family.

 

Meanwhile, a new household needs to be established, and your parents, children, and even extended families may have all kinds of opinions on the relationships involved and how they should work.

 

 Old patterns, to some extent, will need to be unlearned, and some new models will be invented. This can be especially complicated for children. Familiar with one parenting style, they now have to learn another; the learning curve is only steepened if both biological parents remarry. And thus, this change is challenging for all involved. Both parents and children are likely to experience confusion and frustration at times.

 

 

One | It’s going to take time.

Husbands and wives are required to make each other a priority; this is hard in a newly blended family. It may take extra effort to work through differences, so don’t just storm out of the room physically or emotionally—lean into the conflict. 

Different parenting styles are going to clash, and former patterns that worked might end up changing into something new and different. These changes are uncomfortable for everyone. 

It’s going to take time to recognize, agree on, and build this new family system. In the meantime, show respect and kindness. Learn from your partner and listen to her. 

Create opportunities to brainstorm ideas on making your marriage and family function better. It takes time, but the wait is so worth it.

 

Two | With children, let the biological parent lead for a season

 

Upon a divorce or the death of a parent, a child’s world turns upside down. If you think about it, they are along for a ride that they did not ask to be taken on. 

This amount of change is unsettling for them emotionally, intellectually, and spiritually. 

They need some things to remain unchanged, and one that can be constant is the voice of their biological parent in moments of stress, teaching, redirection, or discipline. So let your wife take the lead in parenting her biological children. You may not always agree with her method of discipline or how she delivers it, but you can respect the choices of your spouse. Over time, the hope is that all your children will learn to respect and love the joint discipline of both parents, biological or not.

 

 

Three | Create new methods and memories

 

There are so many great methods and memories you will struggle to import. This always surprises couples in the new blended family. We assume that everyone will love our old traditions because we thought they were so wonderful and had so many wonderful memories attached to them. 

And of course, we are shocked when the new family system abhors them. You will have to craft new traditions, and it is going to take time for these ideas to catch on as your new family members accept them as their own. But be patient and hang in there. 

You are starting over, and with this restart is the opportunity to forge new patterns, new memories, and new methods of life together within this new family that God has assembled. So get creative and start building.

 

Four | God can do extraordinary work in a blended family

 

Consider the case of Moses, son of Jochebed, who was born into an Israelite family in Egyptian slavery. Yet for his safety, he was sent down the Nile River in a basket when the Pharaoh of Egypt called for the mass genocide of all the Israelite boys. His parents, who trusted God, discovered that Moses made his way into the hands of Queen Bithia, Pharaoh’s daughter, and was raised in this royal home.

 

For the first 40 years of his life, Moses grew up in extreme wealth and luxury as a stepchild to the Pharaoh. This was Moses’ stepfamily. Then Moses discovered his Israelite heritage and fled the comfort of this palatial home to discover another home. Later, he headed to Midian, where he established an intimate relationship with God and married Zipporah, the daughter of Jethro.

 

After another 40 years, Moses left the desert and returned to Egypt as a prophet and leader to free the Israelite nation from captivity, leading them to 40 years of wandering in the desert.

 There he shepherded a nation of people in hopes of leading them into the land of promise. So think about that for a minute. Moses was a kid who grew up in a stepfamily yet became a father and the leader of God’s people—the man whom God used to lead His people from slavery and through whom God delivered the Law on Mount Sinai. 

I would say that is a pretty spectacular story of redemption and hope for all stepfamilies.

 

So keep in mind that while the process may be difficult for a while, God has something special for a blended family. And if you have one, you might be raising a future leader of God’s people right now.

 

 

Curses Caused by the Spirit of Idolatry

 

Curses Caused by the Spirit of Idolatry

 

Certain men, the children of Belial, are gone out from among you, and have withdrawn the inhabitants of their city, saying, Let us go and serve other gods, which ye have not known.

—Deuteronomy 13:13, KJV

 

This verse is the first mention of Belial in the Word of God. The Lord identifies men who attempt to lead His people away from Him to serve other gods as “children of Belial” in the King James Version. This passage of Scripture goes on to describe their actions:

 

If you hear someone in one of your cities, which the Lord your God gives you to dwell in, saying, “Corrupt men have gone out from among you and enticed the inhabitants of their city, saying, ‘Let us go and serve other gods’”—which you have not known—then you shall inquire, search out, and ask diligently. And if it is indeed true and certain that such an abomination was committed among you, you shall surely strike the inhabitants of that city with the edge of the sword, utterly destroying it, all that is in it and its livestock, with the edge of the sword. And you shall gather all its plunder into the middle of the street, and completely burn with fire the city and all its plunder, for the Lord your God; and it shall be a heap forever. It shall not be built again. So none of the accursed things shall remain in your hand, that the Lord may turn from the fierceness of His anger and show you mercy, have compassion on you and multiply you, just as He swore to your fathers.

—Deuteronomy 13:12–17

 

“Children of Belial” indicates individuals who were under the control of Belial. They were being used by Belial to draw the people of God away from Him to serve other gods. It is interesting to note that the word idol is the Hebrew word which means “good for nothing, vain or vanity, of no value, thing of nought.”  

 This can be summed up in one. 

Belial, which means tries to lead men astray to follow something that is worthless. Idols are worthless; they have no value, and they cannot satisfy. 

The first principle we see in connection with Belial is that he attempts to draw people away from worshiping the true God. Under Belial are spirits that will seduce people and draw them away from the Lord. As a result, the demon spirits operating under the rulership of Belial inflict the people who have been drawn away from the protection of God with bondages and curses that often lead to destruction. 

The apostle Paul prophesied, “In the latter times some shall depart from the faith, giving heed to seducing spirits, and doctrines of devils” (1 Tim. 4:1, To seduce means “to lead away, to persuade to disobedience or disloyalty, to lead astray by persuasion or false promises, to attract, to lure.”

 

The Living Bible translation of this verse says, “Some in the church will turn away from Christ.” This is known as

 

Webster defines apostasy as “abandonment of a previous loyalty, defection.” I believe this is the reason why so many churches and some denominations have abandoned the faith. Some have even ordained homosexuals as ministers. What an abomination! This is no doubt the work of Belial and seducing spirits to cause many PRAYERS.

 

Characteristics of the spirit

of Belial

 

·        Father, Your Word tells me, “Some worthless people have talked everyone there into worshiping other gods, even though these gods had never done anything for them.” You instruct me to “carefully find out if the rumor is true” and call such action “a disgusting thing” (Deut. 13:13–14, Make me a watchman on the wall to guard against this worthless spirit leading those I know and love astray.

 

·        Father, the spirit of Belial causes people “to be so selfish that you refuse to help the poor” (Deut. 15:9, when the poor are their own relatives! You warn me not to be like that and say that if that person I refuse to help tells You of the wrong I do, you “will say that [I am] guilty.” Protect me from the spirit of Belial, who makes people so selfish.

 

·        God, the spirit of Belial is so perverted that it watches for strangers to visit Your people and then demands that the stranger be given to perverse men and women to satisfy their homosexual lust (Judg. 19:22). Keep me ever watchful, Lord, for those who would be stolen away by the homosexual lusts of Belial. Make me a strong wall of protection and my home a locked fortress against this spirit.

 

·        Your Word tells the horrible story of a traveling Levite who, with his wife, spent a night in the home of a fellow Jew who lived in a city filled with men who were no longer living for God but were filled with the spirit of Belial. These men surrounded the man’s home and demanded that the Levite be given to them for homosexual relations. Rather than protecting his wife, this Levite threw his own wife out the door, and she was repeatedly raped by these evil men and died. (See Judges 19.) Lord, teach me to heed the warning of this story and never become so apathetic toward You that I would willingly give up my own family members to evil. Keep me safe in the protection of Your will so that I never stray from You and fall victim or allow my loved ones to fall victim to the spirit of Belial.

 

·        Lord, when Hannah was interceding in the temple for a son, she was thought to be a daughter of Belial who was drunk (1 Sam. 1:12–16). Help me to recognize that the spirit of Belial would attempt to bring me under the bondage of some addictive sin that traps me. Help me to recognize these addictive bondages and to avoid anything that could draw me subtly into bondage.

 

·        Father, you called the sons of Eli—priests in Your temple—sons of Belial who were living in sin even as they pretended to be men of God (1 Sam. 2:12, Protect the men and women who have accepted Your calling to ministry, and shield them from the hidden sins that will lead them away from You. Break the power of sin from their lives and keep them true and honorable shepherds who lead Your people into righteousness.

 

·        Father, like Eli’s sons, so many church leaders and men of God today have fallen prey to the spirit of Belial and have ended up broken, bound by sin, and unworthy to serve as Your shepherds. Help me to pray and intercede for Your shepherds. Break the power of Belial to lead Your servants astray. Keep them pure and holy and blameless before God and before the people they are leading.

 

·        Father, as soon as Samuel had anointed Saul to be king, the spirit of Belial immediately attacked him by casting doubts to the people about his ability to lead them and by their refusing to honor him with their gifts (1 Sam. 10:27).

 

·        The spirit of Belial was already at work, filling Saul with self-doubt and insecurities about his abilities. Even though he held his peace, this spirit began its insidious attack against him, ultimately leading him to reject You and fail miserably at the job You had called him to. Make me strong against Belial when it tempts me to doubt what You have called me to do or tempts me to feel inadequate or inept. Make me powerful through Your Spirit, and defeat the spirit of Belial from my life.

 

 

 

·        Lord, in times of illness and physical distress, keep my eyes focused on You and my heart strong in my faith that You can heal me. The spirit of Belial would try to tell me, “You have some fatal disease! You’ll never get well” (Ps. 41:8, Help me to reject the voice of Belial that would whisper defeat, destruction, and death in my ear. Raise me up to strength and physical wholeness by Your power and block the taunting’s of Belial from my ears.

 

·        Lord, “I refuse to be corrupt or to take part in anything crooked.” I will not allow the spirit of Belial to take control of my life, and “I won’t be dishonest or deceitful” (Ps. 101:3–4, I will live my life in purity and honor. I will listen only to Your Spirit and will resist the spirit of Belial from entering my life.

 

·        Lord, worthless liars who have been bound by Belial go around deceiving others (Prov. 6:12). I will not be one of these worthless liars. I will speak only Your truth, and I will only seek to lead others into the path of righteousness.

 

·        Lord, the spirit of Belial destroys the godly value You have given us and causes us to become worthless. Your Word says, “Worthless people plan trouble. Even their words burn like a flaming fire” (Prov. 16:27, May I never become worthless to You. May I never play with the fire of Belial and become burned by evil. I will not allow the spirit of Belial to destroy my value to You and to others.

 

Father, Your Word says, “A lying witness makes fun of the court system, and criminals think crime is really delicious” (Prov. 19:28, Help me to recognize the lying witnesses in America today who mock the godly principles this nation was founded on and attempt to convince others that ungodliness is right. Unmask the spirit of Belial in the voices of those who lobby for ungodly practices and rules, who attempt to water down the righteous principles of this nation and lead us into sinful acts and behaviors. Right the wrongs that have crept into our justice system, into our schools and government, and that are attempting to lead this nation into sinful practices.

The Good Shepherd

 

““I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me— just as the Father knows me and I know the Father—and I lay down my life for the sheep.”

‭‭John‬ ‭10‬:‭14‬-‭15‬ ‭NIV‬‬

Have you ever had a great coach or teacher? 

Chances are that leader went beyond what they had to do or what they were paid to do to help you or your friends. 

Maybe they even gave up something or sacrificed their time because they cared so much. That’s what great leaders do, and that’s exactly what Jesus is describing—a shepherd who loves the sheep so much 

He gets to know each one personally and even gives His life for them. 

Essentially, Jesus is saying that’s how He feels about you. You’re the sheep! Maybe you’ve never felt like you were important enough for Jesus to know your name, but He does. 

He loves you so much He was willing to give up everything to keep you safe because that’s what a Good Shepherd does.

Hand to the PLOW

 No One Who Puts a Hand to the Plow

Luke 9:62
“Jesus replied, ‘No one who puts a hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God.’”

Explanation and Commentary of Luke 9:62

Jesus was apt to explain that those who considered being his disciples would be prudent to count the cost first (Lk 4:28) because there was no going back once one stepped onto his path, that it was better to have not undertaken the journey at all than to start and then quit. 

This statement in Luke 9 comes after a section in which Jesus is addressing several who had made excuses as to why they must delay following Jesus.

When we “put our hand to the plow” we must be ready for a lifetime of relationship with Christ, and following Christ. He has our life of service and transformation planned out from start to finish, and he is glad when we do put our hand on the plow, but let us not become like those seeds thrown on shallow or rocky soil who at once seem to rejoice in Christ, only to fall away when it becomes a struggle or we get bored with it.

We are promised in Scripture that because God has given us his Holy Spirit, we are sealed for the day of the redemption. But those who are given the Holy Spirit of perseverance look very similar to those who get excited about God at first in the natural realm but have no staying power. 

It behooves even the confident believer to pray always for perseverance and the grace of God to continue with him, that they may finish the race and win the prize (Acts 20:24)

Breaking Down the Key Parts of Luke 9:62

#1 “Jesus replied,”

The statement to which Jesus is replying is, “I will follow you Lord; but first let me go back and say goodbye to my family.”

#2 “‘No one who puts a hand to the plow and looks back…”

It could be Jesus is saying that if he goes back to “say goodbye” to his family that he will have second thoughts and bring judgment on himself. Obviously, there is nothing wrong with bidding farewell to one’s family, but Jesus discerns in all these excuses a halfhearted attempt to follow him without laying down their life in a way necessary to truly receive the Kingdom of God.

#3 “…is fit for service in the kingdom of God.”

Being “fit for service” in God’s kingdom is to live utterly in the alternate reality that is the rule and reign of Christ in the midst of the current dominion of darkness on the earth. It is to be in the world, but radically not of it. Jesus commands not just loyalty to himself, but a whole new kind of existence.